Nice Cartoons .....

Great One-liners, some of the best ever!! :-))

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it!


Have a Nice Day !!!

Letter to PAPA.....

A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow.

It was addressed "Dad".. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope 

and read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving 

home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a 

scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know 

when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, 

and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and 

Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy 

together.

Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days 

is it? ), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way 

of our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and 

has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other 

girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He 

wants to have many more children with me and that's now one  of my dreams 

too.

Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be 

growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine 

and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a 

cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. 

Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your 

grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,

Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters " PTO".

Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS:

Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just 

wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card 

that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it  is safe for m

e to come home.

I love you!

Your loving daughter,

Rosie

Peg after peg :-P

Peg after peg       I never take risk while drinking   When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking   I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen   I stealthily enter the house   Take out the bottle from my black cupboard   Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame   But still no one is aware of it   Becoz I never take a risk   I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink   Quickly enjoy one peg   Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack   Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard   Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile   I peep into the kitchen   Wife is cutting potatoes   No one is aware of what I did   Becoz I never take a risk   I: Any news on Chopra's daughter's marriage   Wife: Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking out for her   I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard   But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle   I take out the glass from the old rack above sink   Quickly enjoy one peg   Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink   Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard   But still no one is aware of what I did   Becoz I never take a risk   I: But still I think Chopra's daughter's age is not that much   Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... Like an aged horse   I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...   I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard   But the cupboard's place has automatically changed   I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the sink   Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly   I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash Shivaji Maharaj's photo & keep   It in the black cupboard   Wife is keeping the sink on the stove   But still no one is aware of what I did   Becoz I never take a risk   I: (getting angry) you call Mr. Chopra a horse? If you say that again,   I will cut your tongue...!   Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...   I take out the bottle from the potatoes   Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg   Wash the sink and keep it over the rack   Wife is giving a smile   Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking   But still no one is aware of what I did   Becoz I never take a risk   I: (laughing) So Chopra is marrying a horse!!   Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...   I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack   Stove is also on the rack   There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside   I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink   But none of the horses are aware of what I did   Becoz Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk   Chopra is still cooking   And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing   Becoz I never take Risk ...

APPLE FAMILY ........ :-D

APPLE FAMILY :-)